


Second Meetings

by homulily



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Ahsoka - E. K. Johnston, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, why are there three ahsoka tags and two tags for kaeden
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 01:37:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13447752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homulily/pseuds/homulily
Summary: Jedi aren't supposed to form emotional attachments. It's a good thing Ahsoka Tano isn't a Jedi.Or, these are the lesbian farmers the Empire warned you about.





	Second Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I love Kaesoka? Writing them comes so easily to me. Thinking of titles? Not so much.

_I could kiss you!_

The words ringed in her head, over and over again. If she had any hope before of forgetting them, she could abandon it now. It had been two months. Two months since Kaeden had confessed to her and two months since they had seen each other. When it all happened, she figured it was nothing. Kaeden was just caught up in the moment. Honestly, Ahsoka had been too because for a moment, she wished…

Or did she? She wasn’t sure. She thought for a second, why don’t you? And then she felt strange. The last person she had kissed had been Lux Bonteri, and that hadn’t exactly been an act of true love. As a Jedi, she had always been taught to refrain from those sorts of feelings and when it came to romance, ignoring that had come easy to her. You could definitely argue she could be more emotional when it came to other issues, but she’d never really worried about that little thing. With Lux, she had thought about it in the same way she might consider a plan for a mission. Or in some ways, her thoughts were even more detailed than a mission.

 _Is this love? Is that what I’m supposed to be feeling? He’s around my age and we could technically--_ It was all logical and rational. And even though she was a Jedi, she almost convinced herself she was in love with him. When she saw him and Steela Gerrera, she felt jealous because… she was supposed to. Steela seemed to think that was how it was supposed to be too. Although now at 18, she just felt stupid for worrying about something like that when they had a war going on. A war that plenty of people, people she knew, people she loved, had died for.

With Kaeden, she didn’t think about anything. Okay, that was a lie. She had a lot on her mind, she always did. But she never thought about them. About Kaeden in that way. When Kaeden said that, it threw her completely off guard. Her mind froze so she focused on something else, anything else. Getting Kaeden to safety was more important. There were so many things that were more important. And she was--

She wasn’t a Jedi anymore. But like always, she found herself holding onto her teachings and wishing she was still a padawan. Even with something like this, she longed for Anakin and Obi-Wan’s advice. Anakin would probably say something about how she was a real chip off the old block. Of course, she’s charmed some farm girl. She did have him as a master, after all. Then Obi-Wan would butt in with something about the Jedi Order, reminding them both of their duties and what was required of them. She and Anakin would laugh, assuring the older Jedi that they understood and that yes, it was all very serious. Imagining these scenarios wasn’t really helping her, though. It might have made her feel better, but she couldn’t hold on forever.

Besides, duties… responsibilities… she decided that for herself now. There was nothing stopping her from falling in love, from marrying someone, or even having a family. There wasn’t, but. She might not have been a Jedi, but she was still a Rebel. Wherever she went, the Empire would be after her. Her life could never be safe or secure, and how could she ask Kaeden to give that up? No, she wouldn’t be giving it up. Ahsoka would be taking it away from her. And what for? For some selfish reason she wasn’t even sure of?

Kaeden had probably forgotten all about it by now. It’s not like her life revolved around Ahsoka, especially now. And it’s also not like Ahsoka had given her the best response, if you could even call it that. She hadn’t said anything, not even a rejection. Just acted like it hadn’t even happened, like Kaeden’s feelings didn’t matter to her. It wasn’t like she had ever had to respond to something like that, though. Or maybe she had, but she never thought about it like this. Plenty of people had commented on her appearance as a padawan and it had only increased as she got older. She remembered the way Lux had looked at her when they first met and fought back the urge to roll her eyes like she had then. Kaeden had never made her feel that way, even when Ahsoka couldn’t be fully honest with her.

“What am I even thinking?” Ahsoka said to no one in particular. Or it was to someone in particular, but Artoo was back with Senator Organa. Not that the droid would know much about romance…

She let her head fall into her hands and sighed. This felt like the sort of a moment a human would run their hands through their hair, but she couldn’t exactly do that. She wondered if it helped them in times like this, if it was relaxing. And then she found herself thinking of what Kaeden’s hair must feel like, how she’d like to watch her braid it some time. Maybe… learn how to do it for her. How Kaeden’s fingers would feel tracing the stripes of her lekku.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this...” she said as she set a course to Alderaan.

 

* * *

 

In the two months since they had relocated to Alderaan, Kaeden Larte had thought about Ahsoka every day. Or almost every day. There was that one time she got really sick and ended up knocking out for two whole days, but she didn’t count that. And who knows? While she was passed out, she just might have had some dreams about an angel who just so happened to be a Togruta. Just maybe, though. There were times while she was working or studying that she’d completely zone out. It’d take Miara or someone else to snap her out of it, and if it was Miara, she’d always do so with a smug expression. Kaeden wore her feelings on her sleeve, she was well aware of that. So she knew it didn’t take some Jedi mind trick to figure out where her thoughts drifted. After all, everyone on Raada had been able to figure it out.

And yet, when she confessed to Ahsoka… the other girl looked so surprised. The look on her face made Kaeden’s heart flop into her stomach, and then she swore she could feel it coming back up again into her throat. That’s why she had quickly corrected herself, to let Ahsoka know she understood there were obviously more important things going on. _I didn’t mean it._ She wanted to say, but she couldn’t. Because she did. She absolutely meant it and now they both knew it.

Kaeden didn’t know much about the Jedi, especially with the way the Empire now treated them. She had heard stories here and there growing up, but her mental image of a Jedi was some old, wise wizard. Not a really beautiful, compassionate girl who could fix anything and always had a solution to everything and knew so much about the world and was just-- She was just Ahsoka. Not perfect, but she was pretty close. Still, she figured the Jedi, including Ahsoka, were very serious and uptight, what with their religion and all that. So probably, she told herself, Ahsoka couldn’t be with someone. It wasn’t that it had anything to do with Kaeden, or that she didn’t like girls, or anything like that. Just a Jedi thing. That made her feel a little better, and it helped her make sense of Ahsoka’s reaction.

There was a part of her that was honestly thankful Ahsoka hadn’t given her a proper response. That way, they could just move on. Act like it never happened. And then Ahsoka would leave and they would both live their lives without ever thinking about it again. It’d be great if it was that easy, wouldn’t it? Yet another part of her was angry. Hurt. She trusted Ahsoka, and Ashla, more than anyone else had. Even when it was difficult, she had always believed in her. At the end of it all, Kaeden had trusted her enough to share those feelings with her. Ahsoka had just blown her off completely, apparently not having the time for a simple _Sorry, I don’t feel the same way_. And what made matters worse was that Kaeden couldn’t shake that small hope that Ahsoka did care for her in that way. It was stupid and she knew it, but she kept allowing herself to pretend anyways. If she didn’t like her, she would have said something outright. So that meant…

Nothing. It meant absolutely nothing.

“Kaeden? You doing alright?” Her sister’s voice shook her awake from her pointless dreamland.

 “Wha-? Huh… yeah. I’m. Fine.” Kaeden shook her head quickly, then nodded, then took a deep breath. Too much.

“You sure?” There was that smirk again. “Cause it looks like you’re trying to eat your dinner with your elbow. Which, well, good luck with that.”

She looked down and Miara was right. In her carelessness, she had shoved her elbow right into her food. Letting out a sigh, she began to wipe the mush off her sleeves. Growing up on a farming planet, she wasn’t too fond of wasting food or really, any resource.

There was a knock at the door, and with a somewhat pitying look, Miara got up to answer it. Her expression almost said, _don’t worry, I’ll deal with it_. As if Kaeden wasn’t capable of handling it herself right now.

“I have a message for a Kaeden Larte from Senator Organa. I’ve been told it’s quite urgent.”

Hearing this, Kaeden shot out of her seat, even before Miara could yell back for her as if they weren’t just a couple feet apart.

“From Senator Organa? What does he need from me?”

“He has requested your presence at his private residence tomorrow. He also sends his apologies for the suddenness of this request.”

Kaeden looked to Miara pleadingly. Miara relented quickly, smiling, “I’ll cover your shift. Don’t worry. It’s not like you can say no to a senator.”

“Tell the senator I’ll be there! Oh, um. I’m Kaeden. Kaeden Larte. And I’ll be there! I’ll be early too!”

The attendant gave a perfectly practiced smile as they nodded and went on their way.

As soon as the door was closed, Kaeden’s excitement deflated into a bundle of anxiety.

“Wait. Why does Senator Organa want to see me? Do you think- Do you think there’s something wrong? Or something I did wrong or maybe you--”

“Kaeden! Just, just shut up, okay?"

“... What.” Okay, so that wasn’t shutting up. But really, Miara. What.

 “Ahsoka’s back.”


End file.
